Woke up happy, felt I had no reason for that, got scared that it won’t last long, after couple of hours my day became living hell. I hate to feel hate from others even if I don’t give a damn, even if I deserve it. Today was an exception, I did NOT deserve any of the emotions I got.
Feeling sorry for not being able to tell everyone what I think about them, honesty became a dream for me. I wish I was easy about everything, I wish I wouldn’t give a damn about anyone.
Life plays a game with me, being a bitch with no reason. So fuck you bitch, yeah fuck you and all the other bitches that make me feel so desperately needing alcohol.
Almost all my life I was searching for inspirational quotes about the quality of life. Almost every time I found something really meaningful I was inspired, not for 5 minutes, no, not at all, inspired for some days, months … But inspiration was the only thing I would ever get from this. Each of them was saying - if you want to change something, then change it, if you want to quit - quit, if you want to start all over again - start, if you want to be happy - be happy… It sounds so good, you almost believe you can do this, yes almost!
Now I search for them not because I believe I will learn anything, or change anything, I read them just because it feels good for some seconds!